My Pandemic Pregnancy: a Future Conversation With My Daughter

I imagine a conversation I might have with the daughter I’m currently 8 months pregnant with in a few years. I can see us sitting on the carpet in her room; papers, memories, and keepsakes surrounding us. With wide-eyed wonder she asks about each object, card, and picture, and I tell her about all the wonderful, precious people who anticipated her birth with me through beautiful gifts, clothes, and toys that she probably doesn’t even remember. I tell her how her aunt had a big, lovely balloon garland and Pooh-bear sign made, and how some wonderful ladies had the most delicious snacks and cookies for her shower. When seeing the picture of the lovely, professionally designed cookies,  she probably asks “Can you make some of those for me?” I laugh, “That might be pretty hard to do!”

Then she picks up an object that she doesn’t quite understand- a facemask that says “mommy.” She looks at it with big, curious eyes and asks “Mommy, what is this?” I laugh, having almost forgotten the most popular yet controversial clothing accessory the year she was born. “Well, the year you were born there was a really bad sickness going around, and it was so easily passed around that the only way we knew to stop it was to wear these masks and not be around other people for long periods of time, and this was a special mask they got for the shower. That’s part of the reason why we had your shower outside where people could just drive by, so they felt safer coming to it!” She probably continues to be puzzled, and asks a ton of questions about what it was like during that time-

“Mama, was it scary?” “Yes, it was a little bit, because we didn’t know a lot about it. I was especially careful because I didn’t want to get the sickness and have it affect you while you were growing inside of me. But in that I really learned how to be brave despite not knowing what was going to happen.”

“Mama, were you sad to not see a lot of your friends?” “It was very hard, we weren’t able to go to church like we do now for a long time, and even when we did, we couldn’t get close to people or be in our small groups. However, through it we learned to connect in different ways! Your grandma actually planned another shower with friends and family from all over the country, and we all met on the computer! I also found groups of other mommys from all over the country that I never would have connected with before. 

“Mama, did you even have to miss going on a vacation?” “I was very disappointed that we didn’t get to go to the beach like we wanted to, but your daddy and I had so much fun discovering other fun things to do that summer! We hiked in the mountains, read lots of books, and even stayed in a really cool treehouse at one point! We had lots of fun times together, which made us even more excited to welcome you into the world. Though we also watched way too much TV at the same time!”

She giggles, and maybe, just maybe points out “Mommy, even though you said it was scary, it sounds like you still had fun!” I look at her, remembering what it was like to carry her in such an unknown time. “Yes sweetie, but what made it most fun and exciting was that, no matter what crazy things were going on outside, I had you growing and moving inside of me. You were a little light of joy and gift from God we could look forward to when everything else seemed to be falling apart.”

She smiles, and then of course jumps back to the topic that seems most important to her: “Mama, are you sure you can’t make any of those delicious cookies they had at your shower?” I’ll roll my head back laughing, “We can try, honey” as I start to get up to walk with her to the kitchen, “we can try.”